The Ringers

Well believe it our not, we actually made it to Bismark in time for equipment check. I finished trading out my skate wheels as we walked through the front door and just prayed my old school GT-50's had enough gumption to see me through the bout.

Notice I'm Wondering whether my trucks are loose enough.

During the bout last weekend (ACRG's season ender against Choice City), my skate truck snapped off the plate in the last two game minutes, which meant my trusty Riedell Sirens needed to sit this one out and my first ever pair of roller skates (the GT's) would finally get to see some game play. For those of you who are not seasoned skaters, you probably don't understand this mechanic mumbo jumbo, but know it's a HUGE deal. Trading out skates completely right before a bout is like telling a polo player they have to switch to riding a Clydesdale and use an unsharpened pencil to hit the ball. Nothing feels right. My sirens are adjusted to react to the slightest increase of pressure from even just my pinkie toe; my GT's on the other hand needed constant pressure and coaching from my entire lower body to keep from going completely squirrely. Somewhere between a talking to with Teresa's skate wrench and me adapting, those skates pulled through. Granted, it did feel like I was going down an unpaved road when I went through corners, I still pulled off the maneuvers I needed. For example juking:

See me with the blue knee pads?
See that large blocker darting over to hit me?

See my blue knee pads disappearing?
That's called juking - or rather changing skate direction in an instance to avoid a block.

Overall this was a great game that definitely tested my skating abilities. Plus I got to actually sit and watch my lovely Billings Derby Dames kick some quad butt. It's funny how when you're pitted against someone you don't notice how amazing they are. For example: I never noticed how Jam Good Time has this almost ballet-style movement to her juking. Out on the track that night I saw her dart in and out of opponents paths in such a fluid motion it almost looked like a performance of Swan Lake (her tutu didn't hurt either). Or how Dispikable Darling can hold a jammer behind her in a one woman wall for a full two minutes. Or how Wham Bam Rocket SLAM completely masters her role as a leader by changing line ups to better suit the players and by showing no mercy to the other team. Or how tough Lethal Lizzie became when she (unknowingly) broke her wrist but refused to quit until that final jam. (Also a lesson to all you skaters out there, never trust the EMT's. If you hurt, go get an x-ray). Even my own team members seemed to stand out more than I had ever noticed before. We all seemed to just click. Every player on that track was switched into full attention/high performance mode. Definitely one for the memory books. 

Imagine this as one of those epic sport movie pictures where the frame of action is snapped into a photo and slowly fades into monochrome.

At the end of the night the score stood at 165- 95, Billings with the win. Although I must say for only being the 4th game those Bisman Bombshellz have ever played, they put up quite a fight and had some amazing derby talent. But I'm still really stoked that we won... I mean, we didn't drive eight hours to lose a bout. =)

"BRDD Hell YEAH!"

And what derby game can be complete without a celebratory party afterwards???

I don't think the whole Team USA thing has really set in yet. Granted I have been doing a TON of work for it, but the whole "everyone in the derby community is watching our every move" thing is new. So when two of the Bisman Bombshellz sat down to chat, I totally did not expect the conversation we had. First off, these ladies were awesome; they played their asses off in the game and were making the after party rounds with amazingly positive vibes, always a derby quality to strive for.

Now I don't remember the entire conversation but I do remember these two things.

1) "They told us Billings was bringing in a couple ringers from Wyoming to play for them."

      (Really??? That's pretty fucking cool people thought of us as ringers... which I assume means awesomely tough/talented derby gals who can ring your bell :)



How could this mug be anything but a ringer?

 2) "Sooooooooooo we've been researching you online and want to know.... how rad is being on Team USA?!?!?"

(BTW the answer is pretty freaking!)

As a derby player I have never felt more flattered, humbled, and dare I say stalked??? (Except for all the times Shae and Cassie and Teresa have stroked my skating ego). Okay just kidding about the stalking... unless of course they show up outside my house... then I take back the kidding. It's actually really cool to know there are skaters out there who know about me and look forward to skating on the track together. It seriously makes me strive to be the best example I can (and gives me a guilty conscious every time I do something not so awesome). I just hope that I lived up to their expectations.

Our conversation soon halted when awards began to be read out. While an MVP award feels great, I LOVE when teams give out multiple awards. Everyone walks away feeling special and in this case accompanied by a candy bar. Teresa got "Coolest Mouth Guard"; Shae received "Baddest Bitch"; Tracy... Tracy what did you get???; and I garnered "Most Commanding Voice." Definitely put a grin on my face. Especially when some of the other team shouted "Get to the front!! Don't be a point!!" to replay my track verbiage.

My "Most Commanding Voice" Award

After claiming my edible accolade, the best Halloween event I have ever experienced occurred; a Patrick Swayze/Chris Farley (I've now deemed Patley) SNL Chippendale's skit walked right up to our table. So what did I do? Commandeered the band's p.a. system to plug in my phone, turned up the  the speakers until Loverboy's "Working For the Weekend filled the room, and screamed at them to dance. You know what? They KNEW it!!! Those dudes had every hip thrust, head shake, and crotch grab down pat! When folks actually research their Halloween costumes and rehearse a character, I am smitten (theatre major here), so I tipped them stripper style.

They earned it.

BTW those dollar bills we stuffed into their sweaty spandex were donated by some fellow who oddly came up to us and wanted a picture where Teresa & I were doing the tipping. I can only imagine what that man did with that picture and a bottle of lotion.

After a scream induced encore from the Patley's, I unhooked my phone from the band's p.a. and the musicians actually got to perform. It started off slow (an 80's male stripper act is hard to follow) but soon we were all practicing hip and shoulder checks in a derby mosh pit just off camera... Except for this guy.

There's always one...

I can only assume the lead singer was praying to the rock gods above that man did not know which groupie van belonged to them.

The party died down, an incognito wedding reception raid ensued, and eventually we all went to bed. The end. 

The video that will live in infamy (if you can see it):