My New Found...

If you keep up with my facebook, you probably know that currently I am in a minivan with three of my fellow derby gals road tripping it to Bismark, North Dakota to complete the roster for our sister league the Billings Roller Derby Dames.

BRDD & ACRG, Red, White, & Bruised Bout 2011

 Originally we had planned to stop for the night in Belle Fourche (so more fun to say with a Spanish pronunciation) but then we realized adventure lay just a few miles further down the road... and by adventure I mean gambling. Here's the breakdown of our night:

Arrive in Deadwood, South Dakota.
Pay $3.50 to an ATM for gambling money.
Loose a lot of money... and by a lot I mean $38.00
Teresa gets an ATM receipt that says she has $4,164 left in her account... we wish.
Shay wins $117 on the penny slots.
One of the Madhouse Madams derby gals is still butt hurt over a bruise one of our players gave her in a game three months ago.
Shae & Teresa walk to a pizza place a mile away.
Tracy & I drive to the pizza place.
I am a complete jerk to a drunk dude.
     *He tries to whistle at us. I mock his whistling abilities. He tries to defend said abilities. I tell him he's             only making us run away faster.
Hickok's owner is a frustrated asshole, but to be honest I would be to if I was the only establishment open that served food in a town where retarded college kids come to get wasted and fuck shit up.
I am a complete jerk to another drunk dude. This time I may have been a tad harsh.
We go back to the hotel.
I pass out in a coma of sleep at 4AM.

Right before I zonked out, I had been deep in conversation with Tracy. I fall in and out of sleep so quickly, Tracy didn't even notice I was no longer in the land of the living and continued talking to me for a good five minutes before Teresa got back in the room and asked her why she was talking to herself.

Literally fell asleep in the middle of talking and gmailing.

Eventually everyone nestled in for the night. We had a five hour drive ahead of us, so we planned to leave by 9AM the next morning. Our newly discovered card habits had other plans. It took us three trips to the car to finally leave that dim lit money pit. BUT even though the clock displayed 11:30 on the dash, we knew we had made a great decision. Shae ended up winning another $130 off the penny slots, I won back $35 of my $38 dollars, Tracy got her three card poker fix, Teresa won $140 dollars, and we all made several racially diverse friends (whom I like to call my lucky charms).

Lessons Learned:

1.Don't listen to Teresa when she tells you to split a blackjack hand with two queens.
2.When the dealer switches, you switch too... seriously walk away!
3.Every hand you win, put those chips in your pocket, especially if you're a woman because chances are compulsive thoughts/emotions control your actions. Out of sight, out of mind was the only way I was able to walk out of that casino with anything.
4. Always wear derby apparel to the tables. Not only are the pervy men attracted to you, but it seems the good cards are too. Example #1:

Okay so I wasn't bending over like this the ENTIRE time in the game area, but you still get the picture... Literally, the picture is right there above this sentence.

Oh, one last thing, did I mention we rescued a family of cardboard boxes from the middle of the I-90 last night? While we did almost side swipe ma and pa box and they did provide some amusing follies... they're beginning to overstay their welcome (don't tell them, but we've been looking for a dumpster for miles).

Word to the wise, if you ever come upon an abandoned box clan of your own in the dark, be sure to pull off onto the road shoulder and turn on your hazards. Not only is this safe driving tactics, but it also draws the attention of other drivers to your flashing lights and away from the road... the road littered with boxes.This also may be the reason we are missing baby box #1 & #3.