Kevin's Restaurant

Raised by parents in their thirties, my movie selection growing up usually involved either Arnold Schwarzenegger or Kevin Costner (and occasionally Tom Selleck). I'll leave it up to you to decide which one of my partners liked which actor. All of which has led me at times to be completely infatuated with Kevin Costner (okay Christian Slater too).

How lucky am I that movie stars dabble in other business ventures, specifically casinos in South Dakota. Despite some ridiculous property fiasco stemming from 2004, Kevin Costner does indeed own 100% of the Midnight Star. While the bottom casino portion Diamond Lil's is flashy and pristine, the upstairs restaurant Jake's (both named after characters from the flick Silverado) contains the goods.

Excited to have taken our second detour in two days to Deadwood, I was determined to stop in at the Costner hot spot to win back the $3 I was still down from our escapades the day before. After we parked in the lone downtown car garage, I quickly figured out my silver cigarette case (aka driver's license and credit card holder) lay back in the Bismark hotel cafe... and no I do not smoke, the case was just shiny and proved very useful. Desperate for something to do sans identification, I determined a live action game of Yoostar in Jake's would pass the time well.

"This is what happens to kids who watch too many Kevin Costner films."

Confident in my Costner movie knowledge and eager to experiment with my retro pinhole polaroid camera app, we began our photoshoot somewhere between Water World and Dragonfly. Here are the pictures that resulted:

The Untouchables (which ironically enough, you could not touch). We didnt have guns, but the super hospitable server snuck a knife out of the kitchen for me to inflict bodily harm upon Teresa with. Thanks sir!

 Of course my mom's all time favorite flick For the Love of the Game (I'm pretty sure everytime she hit play on that tape, she became Kelly Preston in her mind). Unfortunately I re-enacted a baseball swing not a pitcher. Pretty sure I'll be disowned.

No Way Out definitely tested my noggin. In the end I just saluted like a good militant brat and googled the flick on my way home (btw it's a thriller about murder!). I must say though, from the size of Kevin's sweater, his stature comes in slightly smaller than I imagined.

 We passed up The Postman - even though it did garner several razzies in '97; and the poster's catch phrase included "It's the year 2013..." - and headed straight for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Easily the only reason I know all the words to a Brian Adams song, I should have re-created the flaming arrow shot scene, but alas, the beating of my heart distracted me.

Twitter-pated.

I mean can you really blame me? Look at how amazing/commanding that mullet is...

Have no fear! I got my act together just in time for Dances with Wolves; the film that earned a tad over 424 million dollars at the box office and snagged multiple Academy Awards and Golden Globes. For some reason though, every time I think of this movie, instead of the beautiful moving scenery of the flick, the scene from Mrs. Doubtfire pops into my head where Robin Williams is mocking his ex: "But look at you! This whole Dances with Wolves Motif. What's your Indian name? Shops-With-A-Fist?" Oh well, it makes me chuckle.

That's me saying "hi" in Native American.

 Field of Dreams, listed on AFI's "10 Top 10" list as the #6 all time best fantasy film (will AFI ever stop making lists? They're worse than my over-organized aunt who clearly has an addiction to post-its), proved that if there's any film genre Kevin Costner has the market cornered on, it's Baseball flicks. Since I'm sure the Telegraph Herald holds top spot on your reading list, you'll know the actual Field of Dreams site was recently sold. Will I ever make it back to Dubuque and see this staple of American history? Only time will tell, but let's keep our fingers crossed.

Sliding into home plate.

Our final picture stop ended with Teresa calling me fat. Okay not really but when she had to hold me in the air like a damsel in distress, she did mention the my 5'3" frame is very deceptive on my actual weight. (She put at maybe 100, my McDonald's habit and derby muscle mass put me a tad shy of 130). You be the judge of whether we pulled it off or not.

Real Scene

Real Life

 Teresa and I decided that if we ever have a mantel, only a badass Elvis suit can ever grace the space above it.

Although this villanous Elvis garb from 3000 Miles to Graceland
(probably my favorite Costner flick)
can never be out done.

A quick lounge in the bathroom and we headed out to the streets of South Dakota once again. The only thing missing from our Midnight Star experience was the sweet melody of Kevin Costner and Modern West.

Me literally lounging on a chaise in the ladies room.

Teresa washing her paws beneath a candlelit chandelier.