Canada - Day 1

My first journey across the Canadian border will most like be met with adventure and crazy scenarios like all my journeys, so I thought it was time to start my very first blog; that and because phone calls cost 1.65 a minute while I'm here and I do not plan on going bankrupt simply to relay my day to those back home.
I'm not going to be one of those who rehashes every minut detail (for once in my life) of the day partly because I've given up redbull for Lent and can barely keep my eyes open and also because I know the American attention span is similar to that of a goldfish.
Here are the highlights/low points.
It started out with me desiring a liquid airport breakfast. To some people folger's is a great way to start the day, but this 4AM morning the best part of waking up was the promise of spiking my cup-o-joe with about a pint of Jameson. However, my better judgement prevailed, and I settled for a pecan roll.
After chewing my morning pastry into a digestible mass, it was time to board. I was pleasantly suprised when the stewardess on the airplane noticed I was reading Chelsea Handler's book "Are You There, Vodka? It's me Chelsea." The best part about our Chelsea fan/stalker conversation was that I had been completely passed out in a comatose state of sleep when she startled me awake with her inquiry. I have spent the last six years of my life so sleep deprived that I can snap in and out of a snooze faster than Brenden Fraiser can make horrible movies. She never noticed, and I like to think she poured my complimentary Dt. Pepsi with a little more pazzaz than the other passengers.
We landed in Seattle where sadly all of the attractive young males from our flight decided to stay. We continued onto our connecting flight gate where they checked our passports no less than three times. Each of these times no one seemed to notice that my passport was invalid. It wasn't until we got to Vancouver that I realized I had yet to sign my book and fill out my emergency contact information (btw Lilly you're my emergency contact, thought I should let you know).
I'm not going to lie the stewardess on the flight to Vancouver did a much better presentation of the safety rules... my favorite was when she demonstrated no smoking. It was her holding an imaginary smoke to her gaping smile, while shaking her head no and then almost throwing herself into the lavatory pointing at different parts to emphasize that at no time during your nicotine jonezing should you ever backhand the smoke detector in the bathroom into submission like a broken housewife because you WILL be tackeled by the in cognito Air Marshall. This was also a game I played on our flights thanks to a Kardashian foul. I would profile the people sitting around me and try to figure out who if anyone on our flight was carrying a concealed weapon and TSA badge. Luckily I never succeeded.
We landed in Vancouver before I could even start drooling on myself while I slept. We stepped off into the exact opposite of what I expected Vancouver weather to be. The sun was shining, the trees were green, the temperature was in the 50's... I had to do a double take. Here I was expecting to be at the winter olympics and there wasn't even a snowflake in sight. In fact our Indian cabbie (I would've known more about him, but I had to spend the entire cab ride to our house having the Verizon international customer support explain all the ways they will be screwing me over with fees while I am trekking through British Columbia) who I will call Ted, told us we better get out our shorts while we're here.
The rest of the day was spent exploring our surrounding area. So far I've found several organic coffe shops, a farmer's fruit market, a Safeway, a great bus system, and a 25 cent peep show. Ah the wonders of Vancouver, I cannot wait to discover more.
Well it's another 4AM morning tomorrow journeying deep into the Canadian mountains to watch... ski-cross... I need all the energy I can muster, especially if I plan on tracking down and kidnapping Apollo Ohno before the games are done (or he gets wind that I'm coming for him).
Let the games begin Ohno!